I read dozens and dozens of perfumes reviews each week. I read about perfumes I've recently acquired, ones I used to know, and ones I have never smelled but am curious to know about. And while I'm scrolling through hundreds of critiques, I am looking for something in particular. My eyes are scanning for ESSENCES and REVERIES. It's all well and good to know what notes and accords make up a perfume and of course we like to know how it performs (sillage, longevity, is it linear or does it change as it progresses?) but what I am looking for are the stories. How does it make you feel? What images spring to mind?
It's not very exciting for me to read "it's powdery". Why not explain to me how it smells like the talc on your mother's dressing table and you used to stand with your nose right at table level, watching her prepare for an evening out? Don't bother with "it's a fruity floral, not very unique" when you could tell me instead how this is the scent of freshly shampooed teenage girls all over suburban America, that this is the ubiquitous smell wafting from every Victoria's Secret store and you're not going to take it anymore!
An evocative description has caused me to seek out fragrances I might not given a second glance before. Maybe because it's a niche house I had not heard of, maybe because the scent has been discontinued or maybe I saw the bottle once before and thought "meh. whatever". A well written review can be a real game changer. It can take that "whatever" scent and put it onto the "I must try this or my life is incomplete" list.
What follows are snippets from other perfume fans' reviews that really get it right, reviews that intrigued me beforehand or ones that rang so perfectly true after smelling it. Reviews that are less about "what does it smell like?" and more "what does it feel like?"
L'HEURE BLEUE by Guerlain "I'm on the Orient Express, in the bar carriage with soft piano, heady wine, good cigars and inky black countryside rushing by. A beautiful woman near me smells like this, and it's in the drapes and the marquetry and the pleated silk of the lamp shades. Lovely and nostalgic like coiffed hair, paste diamonds and matte ruby red Cupid's bow lips."
PALOMA PICASSO "This perfume is like a lady who dresses up to go work in the office. She is the boss and always wears a black suit and red lipstick. When she gets home she has a whiskey ( no soda, no ice, no water), takes off her stilettos and her white blouse and has wild sex with a lover, usually younger than her. He never stays all night because when she feels she has had enough, desires his company no longer. She never looks back, never regrets things, but no one can ever say she was rude to anybody . She is just content in her own shoes and doesn't want attachments."
MAUBOUSSIN "It's an unabashed, party-going, Rat Pack kind of tobacco. Imagine how Shirley MacLaine might have smelled after spending an evening fixing snacks for the Boys during their all-night poker game. She'd smell like this. A rich, voluptuous feminine perfume, unapologetic, mixed with smoke!"
OPIUM by Yves St Laurent "I think of dark Parisian smoking rooms and Ava Marie Saint in Hitchcock films. It has a hint of regal sourness to it that makes me think of aristocratic spinsters in teak panelled mansions stroking Burmese cats."
JOY by Jean Patou "It's a formal dress occasion in a bottle, never to be worn casually. Even sexy lingerie is required if you're going to wear it to bed. I would not feel comfortable wearing this unless I were surrounded by gold and sitting on a velvet chair with a heavy jeweled crown upon my head. Talk about money! It's downright intimidating and I couldn't handle so much opulence."
KIEHL'S ORIGINAL MUSK "A clean body has a smell. Kiehl's has that slightly powdery, oily, innocent skin smell. Like a baby's head or a cat's tummy. Like human hair two days post shampoo. I can imagine a girl who is into Indian print gauzy skirts, tapestries and Grateful Dead would love it. Uncomplicated, no-frills weekend scent."
L'EAU AMBREE by Prada "If this were a person she would be a pale, tall, slightly androgynous woman with high cheekbones and long limbs. She thinks a lot, speaks rarely and smiles even less. "
AMARIGE by Givenchy "Somehow this fragrance makes me think of Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. This is what I imagine Vivian would wear. Outrageously tuberosey loud and peachy naive, stupidly optimistic, artificially enchanting but with a warm heart. A woman in love, but a happy drunk one"
HAPPY by Clinique "Smells good but kinda immature. About as interesting as the preppie Abercrombie wearing clones that went to my high school. Oh wait, that's exactly who wore it! Grapefruit bases are supposed to make you smell young and fresh. Very safe, 'I just washed my hair and wore jeans today'. I don't get 'happy' from this. More like sarcastic."
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