Fame...I'm Gonna Live Forever

"What a heavy burden is a name that has become too famous." ---Voltaire

Today I want to talk about a few celebrity endorsed perfumes I have tried. Honestly, I don't care whose name is on the bottle. It doesn't matter if I love them, hate them, or have never even heard of them. What I am interested in is the juice inside the bottle. I don't get swept up in the marketing hype. I just want to know; does it smell good or not? I know that many times the celebrity whose name graces the product has had some input into what oils will be added but just as many times they have little to do with the fragrance besides posing for an ad photo. The following are the celebrity endorsed perfumes I have tried and a few thoughts on them:

WITH LOVE by Hilary Duff

I was excited to try this one because the notes included saffron and cocobolo wood. I imagined a warm, complex spicy fragrance that would be right for fall. Perhaps I got a bottle that had gone off or something, but I was very disappointed. Instead of the creaminess I had hoped for, I just got pineapple. It's not even listed in the notes but that was what I smelled. Like one of those fruity drinks they serve at tiki bars. The drydown was all vanilla. Bleh.

CURIOUS by Britney Spears

Gorgeous bottle! The magnolia is great (Miss Spears chose this because it reminded her of her childhood in Louisiana), but ultimately the pear and vanilla notes made it too sweet to wear. I love to use it as a linen spray on my sheets though, it makes my room smell deliciously girly.

RADIANCE by Britney Spears

Another gorgeous bottle, but the juice itself was cloying and heavy. It reminded me exactly of Charlie Red, which has always made me feel sick. Very strong and powdery. Reminded me of those aerosol deodorants from the 80s. Big fail.

COVET by Sarah Jessica Parker

I've written about this one before. I believe it has been discontinued now. The notes combination sounded interesting..wet grass, lavender and chocolate, among others. It just smelled strange to me, like a men's cologne. It was an interesting scent but not one I want to wear on my person. It also did not last long, which I suppose is for the best in this case. I will have to try her other scent, LOVELY, as I have heard better reviews of that.

GLOW by jLo

A fragrance that I have gone 180 on. When I first tried it, I could not wait to scrub it off and often listed it in my Most Hated category. I thought it smelled like cheap soap from a hand dispenser in a public restroom and could not imagine anyone liking it. That was 4 years ago. When I decided to write about celebrity fragrances, I took a deep breath and sprayed on some Glow, so I could get all the disgusting nuances just right for the review. How surprised was I that I really like this now! How had I never noticed the wonderful honeysuckle note before? It's true that on initial application it has a soapy, clean laundry smell. I was too quick to wash it off in the past. This time I let it settle in and dry down for a couple hours. It doesn't really smell like perfume, just soft and girly....like the sweat from a fairy princess. Hee hee. I'm glad that I gave this another try as it is perfect for days when it is too hot for regular perfume but you still want to smell great. The bottle is still cheesy and awful looking though.

PARIS HILTON by Paris Hilton

Again, I don't judge a perfume by what I think of the celebrity whose name is associated with it. If I did, I would never have smelled this because I don't think very highly of Miss Hilton. She's famous for.....um....being famous? Being the granddaughter of a mogul? Having a sex tape? Whatever it is, I'm not impressed with her at all but this scent isn't bad. Apple, peach, freesia...just a light, fruity inoffensive summer fragrance. Pleasant and happy, a good work perfume. It does smell exactly like Ralph by Ralph Lauren though, so not very unique. Also, the bottle is atrocious.

HARAJUKU LOVERS G by Gwen Stefani

My friend made me try this on at Ulta in downtown Chicago. She thought it was funny that it was called "G" (my real first name starts with G). I probably wouldn't have tried it myself, as the bottle looked just like one of those dashboard bobble heads....not very sophisticated. It smells so good! Coconut and lime mostly, with hints of apple, jasmine and a creamy sandalwood base. In my mind I am at the beach, covered in coconut suntan oil and sipping a pina colada. It's summertime in a bottle and has featured heavily in my rotation this season.

HEAT by Beyonce

Corny name, I wouldn't want to tell anyone what I was wearing because I would have to bark out "HEAT!". It's sexy though, like sweet almond oil and musk. I was surprised how much I liked it and how long it stayed on my skin. It's a gourmand type, which basically means you want to eat it. It's a bit heavy, so a light hand is a must when applying. Miss Knowles said that she put a great deal of thought into the creation of Heat, and I think that shows. It is spicy, warm, perfectly balanced, sexy without being over the top, and lasts all day and all night. I may purchase a full bottle of this!

Let me know if there are any celebrity fragrances that you have tried and what you thought. I love feedback and hearing about what my dear readers are wearing.

A Certain Kind of Girl

On the opposite end of the spectrum we have those other scents that aren't quite so innocent. In fact, they seem to embody the personality archetype of "brazen hussy". They are bold, attention seeking, overtly sexual and taking no prisoners. I have to admit, these tend to be my favorites. Should I be worried? Having a flair for the dramatic and a theatrical background make me a prime candidate for these over the top sillage monsters that shout "look at me!" from the rooftops. I'm not ashamed..they smell amazing on me.

The key to wearing the following fragrances well is to use a very light hand when applying. A few drops on pulse points or two spritzes all over. Sometimes I will even spray a Qtip and then apply that one spray everywhere indirectly. Whichever method you use, give the oils time to settle in before you go out into the world so you don't choke anyone. The desired effect is more of an invisible shawl enwrapping your being, a magnetizing potion that appears to seep naturally from your skin. Here are some of my favorite perfumes that flirt with crossing the line into harlot territory...

EUPHORIA by Calvin Klein

One of the sexiest perfumes I have ever smelled. It was instant lust when I inhaled this. The bottle design bears some kind of resemblance to female parts, most likely that was intentional. One night at a party I was wearing this brew and I needed to ask the host what his house number was. He breathed in deeply at my shoulder and said "Ahhhh I don't know." I got the distinct impression that it was not the drink in his hand but in fact, the smell of Euphoria that had derailed all of his thought processes in that moment. It is that good. It's dark and creamy, with notes of mahogany, pomegranate and violet. There is also some black orchid in there softening the lines a bit more. A very deep and mysterious scent. Although not listed in the notes, I always get the impression of plump blackberries on the first spray. Be warned a girl needs attitude to pull this off as it is heady and sexy. You could wear this to a cigar bar. It has a drug like effect on men, garners compliments from other women, and always makes me feel more attractive just wearing it.

KORS by Michael Kors

This smells like a lavish party. I would not recommend wearing it when you may be subject to a sobriety check. It smells like a sweet cognac first and foremost, with floral and fruit notes underneath. Wearing it gives you that same heady feeling you get looking at the dregs of your third glass of red wine at gallery night in the city. There is a leather and smokiness at the base of this that makes me adore it. The bottle is even shaped like a cigarette. I don't know why, but wearing this makes me feel snooty. Even so, a good night out fragrance.

RUSH by Gucci

When I first whiffed this stuff I hated it. But then.. I kept coming back. There was something so in your face about it that turned me off initially. Then I realized where Gucci Rush fits in to the scheme of the world and its beauty became shiningly apparent. Can we talk about the bottle design for a minute? It looks like a VHS tape. That's perfect because this smells like the late 80s. It's hairspray and shoulder pads, acrylic hot pink nails and blue eyeshadow. This is how porn stars smell when they get all glammed up for a big shoot. Notes wise, it has all kinds of things going on at once. High volume florals, sweet vanilla, earthy patchouli, fruity peach. It's a hot mess but it somehow works! It is certainly meant only for wear at night, in a busy club or smoky bar. The synthetic smell is unnoticeable in these environments. I might sound like I dislike it, but it's quite the opposite. I LOVE THIS. It's a stand up and take notice smell. Big and loud with huge hoop earrings this scent is. She is a fashionista and her friends copy her style. Everything about this says big hair and gooey lipstick. But the world needs that! How can we appreciate that which is simple and refined if we do not occasionally experience a crude excess? Gucci Rush is the olfactory illustration of this concept.

BOUDOIR by Vivienne Westwood

I have written about Boudoir previously on this blog, under the heading Tricky Treats. It is worth another mention in the category of bad girls. Does it actually smell like sex? Well, yes and no. It smells like the idea of crazy hot sex from another era. Perhaps an 18th century French courtesan's bedroom. The sheets are unwashed and the air is thick with powder. There is a plate of cookies next to the bed and underneath it all, the lingering aroma of tobacco. It is a very seductive perfume. I tend to wear it, as the name suggests, when I am lounging at my own home. One time I ventured out in public wearing a spritz and I did feel conspicuous. There is this dirty note somewhere in it, and while not at all unpleasant, American noses have been trained to eschew their own natural body smells and cover themselves with antiseptic soapy smells. Anything earthy or real skin scented seems unclean.

CABARET by Gres

Perfectly named, while not so much a harlot perfume, I had to include Cabaret in this review because it reminds me of my theatre background. Fresh soft florals, mostly rose at the top, and the base is a very dry clay smell. It is cool and elegant with a transparent, almost dusty smell. I think of the atmosphere backstage at every show I have been involved in. Antique wood counters in the dressing room, waxy makeup and powder strewn across them. Vases and vases of roses and lilies. That musky smell of fresh sweat from dancers just coming off stage. When I put on Cabaret, I do get a tiny bit of that opening night excitement. It's so compelling it is almost too good to be worn.

Proper Young Ladies

Some fragrances are so innocent, so gently feminine that they seem to fall into their own category. If they are youthful, they are restrained. Not the twelve year old at play, but the good girl sitting in church with her hands folded in her lap. If they are romantic, they are old fashioned courtship. Not a passionate kiss of lust, but the tender and meaningful kiss of a bride and groom.

I will admit that my own perfume favorites tend to be the opposite; full of incense and spiciness, possibly backing up a flower with monster sillage like gardenia. But that is an intense way to smell on a daily basis and sometimes I desire a more delicate and simple feeling. What works for date night does not often translate for dinner with grandmother. What follows is a listing of some scents I have tried over the past year that could have been worn by a "proper young lady" from another era.

ANAIS ANAIS by Cacharel

Wearing this made me feel like a Victorian girl getting up early and washing her face and hands with a creamy white soap, then slipping into a lace trimmed cotton chemise that had been dried in the sunshine and fresh air. It wasn't "perfumey", more like warm clean skin. All of the florals are quiet and at the end of the day, the cedar and moss notes are what remained on my skin , like the nicest smelling sweat anyone ever had.

MIRACLE by Lancome

A huge bouquet of flowers! I'm not usually a big fan of Lancome fragrances, but this one is very nice for a spring day. This is very feminine. If you could smell colors, this would be pink. It makes me think of Easter, wearing chiffon dresses to church. You know how after a late spring rain, the sun comes out and the flowers smell extra beautiful? That's the feeling you get from a few drops of Miracle.

ELISABETHAN ROSE by Penhaligon's

I have a hard time with rose scents. It's an easy note to get horribly wrong, veering either toward sticky candy or old lady's bathroom. Penhaligon's has created a rose perfume that smells exactly like a real rose, one of those white or pink ones growing wild on a thorny bush at the country house. It is heady and has great staying power, so a little goes a long way. When I was a teenager I had a diary with scented pages and it was this aroma. That may be why I think of this as a youthful perfume, but I see how it could be worn by romantics of any age. Penhaligon's is one of the oldest perfumers in existence, so it's fun to think about how many ladies over the years have had a bottle of Elisabethan Rose on their dressing tables.

LILY OF THE VALLEY by Crabtree & Evelyn

This is another note that is very easy to get wrong. I love lily-of-the-valley, it reminds me of the front yard of my childhood home. It is also the "official" flower for my birth month, May. So often a lily of the valley perfume just goes sour on me, or turns into a weird celery note. It's possible that this is my own skin chemistry and not the perfume itself. However, the Crabtree & Evelyn concoction is one of two LOTV frags I can wear with no problem (the other one is Muguet de Bois by Coty which has become increasingly hard to find). It's old fashioned and simple, possessing the ease and airiness of a summer afternoon. I wore this almost exclusively in the summer of 2003 and received compliments daily. Very pretty and feminine.

PETIT ET MAMANS by Bvlgari

Innocent, soft and divine. Chamomile, honeysuckle and vanilla create a soft blanket on the skin. It does smell very much like a freshly bathed baby swaddled in a warm blanket. My son even asked if he could try some on and pretend to be a baby. It dries down to a wisp of dry powder. There must be a memory of my own infanthood that kicks in, because when I wear this I feel loved and well cared for.

Stay tuned for my next report...on the fragrances for saucy dames who break the rules!