Today I opened a gorgeous wooden cigar box full of empty samples. I keep these around for posterity, to help me reference and recall, for purposes of these writings and for my own twisted amusement. I thought I'd share with you today a transcription of what was stated off the cuff, the first thoughts that sprang to my mind as I reopened and breathed in perfumes I hadn't thought about in quite awhile.
Lancome Attraction "It's nice, slutty in a suburban mom kind of way"
Bulgari Omnia Amethyste "smells floral sweet, smells like someone who gives a damn"
Thierry Mugler Alien "SEX JASMINE. Love it."
Nina by Nina Ricci "Smells like me watching Season One of Gossip Girl"
Liz Claiborne "I should be making out with Rob Lowe or other 80s heart throb"
Philosophy Falling In Love "too sweet. ugh, no thank you"
Vera Wang Princess Night "Thanksgiving dinner with my family"
Elie Saab Le Parfum "hospital, last fall, post operation"
Hilde Soliani FRaaagola Saalaaata (real spelling, not a typo) "Oh God I am gonna be sick."
Givenchy Hot Couture "reminds me of one of my worst days"
Christian Dior Miss Dior Originale "Hot damn I want to smell like this! I bet Mary Poppins wore this!"
Escada Ocean Lounge "awww it's a Strawberry Shortcake doll"
Yves St Laurent Elle "You know, I wore this once when I headlined so to me it smells of success and that good vibe backstage and a bit of nervous sweat."
Givenchy Very Irresistible "Art Institute of Chicago. Rainy days. A slightly pensive feeling"
Versace Crystal Noir "used to love it, then one night at a theatre I sat next to a basic bitch who drenched herself, now I can't handle it"
Penhaligon's Elixir "mmmm it is the cottage on the lake in the woods, it takes me there"
Tom Ford Oud Wood "yummy. more guys should smell like this."
Clinique Aromatics Elixir "oh God, I can't even with this stuff most of the time"
Eau d'Italie Magnolia Roma "this tickles my throat but oh how clean and fresh it is!"
Hermes Eau de Merveilles "mmmm Here is the thing, see I want Jean Claude-Ellena [the nose behind Merveilles] to adopt me as his god daughter and teach me everything about perfume and art and life.
